Congress Nullifies Constitution
March 11th, 2006

Congress approved a bill yesterday that proposes to nullify the Constitution of the United States of America.

At a press conference, House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert explained, “The general consensus in Congress is that the Constitution is an outdated document.” Other senators pointed out the long history of controversy over interpretation of the Constitution and the repeated precedent set by presidents of blatantly ignoring the document.

Although the Democratic members of congress voted against the bill, none were willing to comment on the matter. “It's not our job to protest when the majority is doing something unjust,” said Harry Reid, the Senate Minority Leader. “Yeah, whatever,” added senator John Kerry, failed presidential candidate and Democrat from Massachusetts.

Hillary Clinton, the only Democrat to speak out on the matter, loudly opposed the bill until she realized that the president would have the power to ban violent video games. Clinton has since been voicing her support for it under the slogan, “Think of the children!”

President Bush is expected to sign the bill tomorrow, officially putting it into effect. “This bill is a giant leap in the right direction. It will be instrumental in giving the United States government the freedom to protect, serve, and observe its people,” said Bush in a speech last week.

Bush concluded his speech, proclaiming, “In this age of terrorism, identity theft, and Islam, America is no place for freedom, privacy, or scientists.”